I've been living differently these days. I used to exhaust myself with just thinking up all of the possibilities of what God's will for my life could possibly be. He (thankfully) has given me a "ah-ha!" moment, but I think of it as more of a "duh, Erin!" moment. I mean, i'm a single mom. Although I know that is not my life's only purpose, but that's what it is right now! It was so hard to me to just settle into that.
Ever since my mind sort of switched gears and the cry of my heart became "Lord, what is your will?" rather than "Lord, what is your will for MY life?" I feel so much quieter inside. When I was so unsettled and focused (more like, obsessed) on my life and my future, by the week's end I was still without a resolution and would get almost into a depression. (Yeah, probably not too healthy.) Now, I pray for the Lord's will. Period. I want to be in line with Him and just take each day as it comes. Everyday is new, and as creative as our Creator-God is...he keeps showing me there really isn't a blueprint for life.
I have been enjoying my kids more, and feel like a better mom because I just AM. Its so freeing to just be. I'm still trusting the Lord with my future. He has the most beautiful story written for me, illustrated with beauty only He, the creator of heaven and earth, can make. I'm so thankful for this continuous journey of peace and freedom that is truly only found in Jesus Christ! Praises.
