God is my strength. I have said that, sang that, and thought somewhat lightly of it. Now I am living it, day by day. In the midst of one of the biggest spiritual and emotional battles of my life, I am also struggling with parenting. I often lack the confidence in my own abilities as a mom. I can get overwhelmed with daily things and with the little phases my children go through. I fear and dread the days when questions about their father come, and worry they will somehow blame me. In all of this, God is my strength.
Even when I felt weary and stressed this morning, He met me where I was. My kids were running around, whining, bickering, dumping out the toy totes I had so very carefully organized. Yet, Jesus was right there with me at my kitchen table as I sipped my coffee and opened up the my journal to just sit somewhat peacefully. My friend sent me a text, saying she had been praying for me and to read a couple of verses in Isaiah 40.
"He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young." (vs.11)
"Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary
and young men will stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." (vs.28-31)
Literally, right after this another friend came by with her two kids to play. To say my kids had a rough morning is a pretty major understatement, but my friends and her kids were so loving and incredibly patient! As she was leaving she hugged me and said "You're doing a great job!". I thanked her relucantly, as doubt flooded in once again. Once they left and I got my shreiking children down for naps, I got quiet. The perfect prince of peace calmed my soul and told me "this is for My glory".
Then, I watched this:
http://vimeo.com/66058153
Whew, parenting is hard! I know I can be so much harder on myself. I need to remember how much they need me to be strong, and they need a mom not a buddy! This truly is my calling during this time of my life, and I am so thankful for the love and encouragement I have had from friends and from the Lord. Moms need it!
